My Ass Is Not Hot Enough For These

I know yesterday I posted on Facebook that someone better check out my ass and notice my lack of panty lines to justify the discomfort of wearing my first thong in years. I don’t know if anyone did or not, but by the end of the day, I was feeling better about letting it all hang out. (Not literally, that’s just how it felt.)

When I got home from work, I told Jason about my underwear concerns, and he said he thought they looked cute. So naturally, I decided thong underwear make me a sex goddess and I should go look online to see if I could find something a little more exciting to wear for him.

Chain Panty

I’m officially scared. My ass is not ready for this level of excitement. That’s a chain. In her butt. That’s almost like handcuffs for your cheeks. I’m soooo not ready for those.


Do they make thongs with training wheels? I think that’s what I need. Something more like this pair. A little lace for fun, but still plenty of coverage.

Yes, I still want coverage. I just don’t want visible panty lines.

Maybe jumping right to EdenFantasys was a bit of a leap on my part. I might need to stick to buying cute lingerie from them. Especially since today, I’m already back in my wide-coverage bikinis.

What kind of underwear do you prefer?

I received a gift card from, which prompted this post. No, I did not buy the chain panties. Those really do scare me.


  1. That’s a hot ass, and I’m betting that yours would look just as hot lmao! Although, a chain riding my ass (literally), isn’t something I’d be interested in 🙂

  2. I wear any and all types! Just find some that are comfortable for you. Shoot, even if they aren’t comfortable, they won’t be on long anyway! Plus if you can handle child birth, you can handle a little chain between the cheeks. Just sayin’

  3. Shoulda posted a picture of your ass. I see hers all the time in Victoria’s Secret. Not so secret, is it now, Victoria?!

  4. hanky panky!

  5. It really depends on my mood and where I’m going to be. I like sexy but comfortable bikini underwear, but I also love thongs, especially when it’s really hot out. They have to be the ones that are really thin though, some of them have to much material “in between” and it makes me feel like there’s something stuck up my butt all the time lol not a pleasant feeling!

  6. I consider boyshorts to be “thong training”, lol. I’m not talking about the ones that look like small versions of men’s boxers. I’m talking about the ones that hug your hips and go up your butt.

  7. I wore thongs for years and years, but now I like tangas and cheekier styles better–kind of like a boyshort, but the bottom half of the cheek is exposed. I’ve got enough junk in the trunk that a bikini cut just can not contain it all and it ends up being super uncomfortable.

  8. im all about cheekies and boy shorts but love thongs as well

  9. LOL, you are a braver woman than I. I have not been able to wear a thong since I got pregnant with my daughter. I feel bad for my hubby b/c even my sexy stuff still has a granny pantie feel to it! o.O

  10. How did you get a picture of my ass?

    Years ago, Victoria’s Secret sold a similar thong in their stores. It had pearls to go up your crack, rather than a chain. I think I’d prefer the pearls. Knowing my luck, the pearly strap would break and I’d end up with a bead in my butt. And that is why I stick to fabric thongs.

  11. you would be surprised…that lace waist band helps prevent muffin top.

  12. I’ve always felt that underwear was a tool of Satan… :p

  13. I have never been able to wear thongs! And I don’t think now is the time to start. Hahah

  14. Deb Ramirez says:

    Boy shorts! No lines, great coverage, and sexy too!

  15. I have a pair of barely theres.

    My mister saw them and told me, “I know your butt isn’t big, but there’s now way that’s going to cover it.” I winked and told him that it’s not supposed to. He got the drift after that.

  16. Bridgett zaidi says:

    I get my thongs from khols. They have many styles that arent made of string.

  17. My policy on panties all the time is the same as my policy on pants at bedtime. 😀

  18. I like thongs and I wore them in high school a lot, but since I have gained 100 lbs I can’t find them in my size anymore (without spending a ton of money). Oh well, one day I will get back into a thong! 🙂

  19. Jessica P. says:

    I’ve never understood the appeal of thongs! Yeah,it would be nice not having panty lines, but an intentional wedgie all day?! Didn’t that used to be a bad thing?? lol I agree with Deb, boy shorts! 🙂

  20. 🙂

  21. SarahSparrow says:

    Lol, nice! I am not a thong fan.

  22. Christy Maurer says:

    Thanks for that visual lol. I don’t think I could wear those! I like my low rise bikinis. They are stretchy and comfy.

  23. kimberly bhatti says:

    i wear all kinds

  24. I like boyshorts and bikinis.

  25. I have never worn a thong let alone a chain thong. LOL

  26. natasha brodsky says:

    I am SO far from thong ready! It’s insane. lol I have another 35 pounds to drop before I’ll even THINK of thongs. lol

  27. Michael Crowley says:

    Looks pretty hot.

  28. Haha you are so funny. I love Victoria Secrets lacy thong..its super comfortable and the only thong I will wear!

  29. Ambrielle Bender says:

    I suffer from a very common white girl disease called Noassatall… So finding cute and comfy is like finding a needle in a haystack!

  30. Hahaha! You have more guts than me – I don’t feel comfortable in thongs. Both emotionally or physically – I think they’re just plain uncomfortable. More power to ya! 😀

  31. Boy shorts underwear its super comfy!

  32. Anita Leibert says:

    I must say, I got a good laugh reading your post!! It takes some time getting used to wearing thongs. I actually make them, but rarely wear them. I prefer a bikini cut myself 🙂

  33. lol, that’s hilarious! I tried a thong once….veeeeerrrrry….uncomfortable… I, too, am of the bikini underwear thought pattern 😉

  34. Kelly King says:

    I will have to give you credit. I have not been able to wear them since I had my son.

  35. Those thongs in the second picture are actually SUPREMELY comfortable. I wear them almost every day!

  36. kelly nicholson says:

    your ass is

  37. Haha- Yeah not a big fan of the thought of chains in my ass either 🙂 I agree with Deb- boy short are ah-mazing. Super comfy and no lines!

  38. Jennifer Jo Archdeacon says:

    She might as well be wearing dental floss.

  39. Chelsea Saulpaugh says:

    I prefer plain ole’ hanes briefs.

  40. Tiffany Kinney says:

    Thats such a werid pair of undies!

  41. William Carr says:

    That’s… that’s… that’s got to be illegal.

  42. Jennifer Nielsen says:

    I bought my first pair of thong panties at age 14, much to the distaste of my father (go figure). I didn’t want panty lines back then. Now that I am 12 years older, and married with a child, my thong colletion has dwindled down to 1 pair. Wow, comfortable in my relationship or what, I need to go thong shopping, my husband deserves it!!! 🙂

  43. Amy Orvin says:

    Cool pics. I wish my butt looked as nice as those pics.

  44. I hate these things and will not wear them as they make you feel like you have a wedge

  45. Eliza-Ligia says:

    The seconds is much better. I think most doctors would highly disapprove of the first.

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