Guest Post: On Moms and Marijuana

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A couple weeks ago, I shared a blog post on my Facebook page about moms who use marijuana that sparked quite the debate. One of my readers felt very strongly about the issue and sent me a private message sharing her thoughts. I want to share that with you here.

I want to be clear that I am not endorsing, approving, or judging this mom. I’m just sharing her story because I don’t think it’s one that many people are willing to admit to out loud.

Her identity has been removed to respect her request for privacy, the rest is posted exactly as I received it (with her permission to share).

I am a single mom, I have 4 kids two teens 18, and 17 then two more which are 8 and 3.

 

I am sending this to you in the hopes that you would post this anonymously I am going with a bitter child custody with a man who abused me and our kids for years. So I ask if you can post this cause I just can’t have my name on it.

 

My last dr visit I uped the pain meds intake, I take one of the highest of percect that a person can take, along with a nerve pill and muscle relaxer. Why? I have Fibromyagia. I try not to take in the say time because of my young kids but of late flare up have been so bad I can’t stand it I cry out in pain.

 

My kids can no longer hug me because of the pain. I tend to pass on going to the park do to pain in walking. So what do I do, I load up on my legal amount of meds sit in bed and play card games and red books and on bad days we watch a movie.

 

Does this make me a bad mom I think not. Does it mean I don’t care no. I would never drink around them. I give them care Thank God I have my teens who help me on bad days. I begged my doctor for help. I am sick of taking pills help me plz.

 

She told me go get your hemp card. What! I looked at her cause she has a son fighting weed addiction and she wants me to get it. I was really thrown a curve ball…… I kept think omg I can’t smoke I have young kids, you don’t have to you can eat a product, she told me, its so much more natural on your body and doesn’t kill your liver as theses “pills” have started to do.

 

I have been thinking about. The only down side I see for me is the munches I don’t want to gain weight. What if I had cancer and need to take it for that. I see so many of yall saying that you wouldn’t take it, but what if you sit down in the night after kids are in bed and drink 2 glasses of wine and then something happens and you had to rush a kid to the er would that make you a bad parent? What if you have ms and you have to take meds for that. Does it make you a bad parent?

 

I wants my 3yr old to hug me again instead of telling him he can’t cause him touching me hurts……..

My heart goes out to anyone that feels this way. I can’t imagine the incredible pressure people must feel when they have to choose between what they feel is right and what they feel they must do in order to function in their lives.

What Do You Think?

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Comments

  1. Morgen Teal says:

    I feel for her. It would be a horrible thing to face (pain pills vs LEGAL marijuana use). But I don’t see how this relates to the other post. That mom was using ILLEGALLY and justifying that it makes her a BETTER mother and that it “does no harm.”

    I don’t see that as the case.

    And that doesn’t apply here. In this case, it’s legal use. It’s *better* than the pain meds that are killing her body. She is under the supervision of a medical professional that will monitor the use and the effects of the drug. They have the children in mind and it may help her overcome her pain.

    Win/Win.

    She can always call an ambulance if there is an emergency (That IS what it’s for). As for moms that drink wine after the kids are in bed–I would hope to goodness that they have a plan for emergencies. For example, only ONE of us drinks at night (either DH or I) and if by some strange chance, both of us are impaired…again…an ambulance is FOR emergencies.

  2. My heart breaks for her. While I don’t condone drug use, and I feel very strongly that weed is a gateway drug (very few people start out on meth) there are definitely circumstances where this could be helpful to a person. Do I think she should do it, I can’t really say, do I think I would do it, I can’t say that either. All I know is that as parents we do what we need to do to be able to care for our children. No matter what that may be! Best of luck to you and I hope that you can find relief in what ever it is you do.
    Cristina recently posted..The Odd Life Of Timothy Green – Recipes, Activities, and NEW TV Spot

  3. Eh, big deal. I have no issues with moms or anybody else using marijuana whether it’s for recreational use or medical use. It’s their choice. If there’s an emergency or if something goes wrong while they are using it, it’s their problem, not mine!
    Diane @ Philzendia recently posted..Our Trip to Punta Cana

  4. I want some!

  5. Since I have several invisible disabilities I feel that if it was legal in my state I WOULD use it on a as needed basis. I know where this mom is coming from and feel for her.
    Heather Beyant recently posted..Andante Dairy Cheese Recall and Quarantine

  6. Ohhhh boy. Jen, you sure know how to stir controversy! hahaha

    Marijuana was vilified in this country because of it’s association with Mexican immigrants who came to California during the economic boom of the gold rush. Our lawmakers wanted them to go home, and because it was used regularly in that community not only recreationally but for religious purposes, it was outlawed.

    Obviously, it didn’t do much good. If you consider it a gateway drug, you must consider cigarettes a gateway to alcoholism, because more alcoholic smoke than don’y. Why don’t we consider cigarette smoking this way? Because big industry has the money to campaign with lawmakers about their concerns. If marijuana was considered widely accepted for recreational use and taxed as it should be, the revenue generated would support prop up the faltering economic conditions along much of the West Coast.

    We can’t have that though. It would cost Philip Morris too much money.
    Heather recently posted..Finding Family and Going “Home” – By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

    • While I consider Weed a gateway drug, I feel the same about cigarettes and drinking. I’ve lost too many family members to “legal” addictions as well as “illegal” addictions. Again if I was in her shoes I don’t know what i would do, and if it would make her a better mom in this instance than good for her. But I think it is better to control it than to just make it a free for all…
      Cristina recently posted..The Odd Life Of Timothy Green – Recipes, Activities, and NEW TV Spot

  7. I think that medical marijuana should be legal. Honestly, it all should. What are the side effects to weed? The thing is, it really hasn’t been studied enough (the long term use). Yes, it kills brain cells, but what about alcohol? How many people are killed each year because of drunk driving/liver failure/and countless other side effects. Prohibition failed miserably. I think pot should be in the same category.

    I don’t have a problem with anyone that smokes. As someone who has chronic health issues, I do know that there are MANY benefits with this drug. I’m not supporting those that can’t pay their power bill because they’re too busy spending it on drugs, regardless of the type. But who are we to be the morality police? Jobs drug test. You can buy them at CVS now; if you’re worried about someone using it, test them (if they’re keeping your kids or in your book club-it’s your option).

    I 100% agree with those that have said: whatever it takes to be a good mom. Horrible pain like she has will cause you to lay in the bed, it leads to depression, and would slowly destroy her as a person. So if she needs to light up in order to be able to play with her kids, why not? Most of the time you can’t tell who is smoking.

    The media (movies, songs, etc) pumps up marijuana use. The “high” you see isn’t really like that. But they do that with a lot of drugs. If more people educated themselves and had an open mind, maybe people that are suffering day-to-day could actually live happy lives. Who are we to judge? It shouldn’t be illegal.

    Thank you for writing this. I think having an open-mind is wonderful. If you’ve never been in their shoes, don’t tell them how easy walking a mile is.

  8. Please pass this information to this mother! I know a woman who had terrible fibromiaga and got tremendous relief using this product. Tell her to call me, and I will put her in touch with this woman, so she can hear it directly from her.

    It also, controls weight while you sleep, so no worries about weight gain. My parents and I have all been taking it for a year now, and it’s wonderful!

    http://weightgoal.bfreesystem.com/products/arg_ma
    Jeanne recently posted..My Mom is losing it!

  9. While I don’t condone the use of drugs, the fact is, if someone is in need of and has a true medical condition, they are generally conscious of what they are doing and are being monitored. With that said, my step-brother has a “green card” that was prescribed by a doctor because his foot hurt. He was receiving cash-aid from the state and because he lives with my father and his mother he spent the money that should have gone to his kid on coffee, cigarrettes and pot. Perhaps my opinion stems from the fact that my parents were drug addicts and my grandparents were all alchoholics. My mom even admitted smoking pot while she was pregnant with myself and with my brother. I can’t change the past and even though we (my brother and I) watched out parents smoke pot, snort lines, pop pills, we were raised to be “better” than our parents example. Believe it or not, even pot-heads can raise honest, respectful kids. Both I and my brother moved out in our late teens and have held jobs since each of us was 16. Have I smoked pot? Yes, twice. Have I ever had a drink? Yes, maybe a dozen in my 35 years. To be honest, my addiction is food and I work hard to avoid creating that same problem for my kids. To pass judgement is very easy, but I don’t know a single person that does not have some type of addiction, and you can’t say one addition is “better” or “worse” than another. Do I think pot is a gateway drug, sure do! I do think that cigarrettes are more dangerous though from the start.

    I’m not sure what testing has been done with regards to kids born from pot-smokin’ momma’s, but both my brother and I were always at a high learning levels during school and both of us passed our ASVAB (for army entry) in the high 90% and both of us were also tested and passed a higher learning level test for linguistics although neither of us went that route.

    Yes, I think there should be drug testing in order to qualify for government assistance. No, I don’t think I should be “allowed” to tell another person how to live. I simply think that if there were stronger punishments for the use of drugs or alchohol usage when it causes damage or injury to others then maybe people would think a bit smarter? I’ve gone to a lot of NA and AA meetings with parents and grandparents, these people did not start out trying to hurt others, but they should be held accountable if they do.

    I don’t know if I can even give a real answer to whether-or-not I condone it. I have friends that are great parents and they smoke pot for recreation. I know people that are not great parents that don’t smoke pot but do smoke cigarrettes and/or drink and they don’t give two-bits about what could happen to their kids.

    My heart goes out to the mom that shared her story and I hope she finds what she needs to hug her babies as much as she can!
    Heidi Meinecke-Smith recently posted..Wordless Wednesday 6/20/2012

  10. Since I have allergies that can disable me at any time – I often think about “what would happen if” I ate something and that hampered my ability to do what I need to do…. In my case let’s say… take care of my grandson while he was visiting.

    You can predict what will or will not happen, you cannot predict an accident, you cannot predict how you will react to something … unless you give it a try.

    I think she should give it a try. The pill form sounds reasonable – she may be able to get out of that bed and live again, and believe me her children will benefit from that. Or it might not work at all. How will she know unless she tries…. I sincerely hope she tries whatever she can to make her and her children’s lives more full.
    Johannah recently posted..Its Annoying – Recycling CDROMS

  11. I participated in a friends campaign to legalize med Mary j. I took a pic of myself holding a sign saying I support medical marijuana. That pic along with a number of other supporters and patients pics went into a slide show. Even though my life circumstances have changed, my opinion on the subject has not. I still support medical marijuana. Its sad that abuse of the system they are trying to put into place only slows it down and in turn destroys any hope of there being a regulated legal for all system, which I also believe in.

  12. I forgot to mention that I myself nor does my husband smoke marijuana.

  13. Fibro is such a devastating disorder, and you can hear it in her letter – so sad. And I think that there is NOTHING wrong with smoking marijuana. I don’t do it – because I’m not a smoker. But I see no difference whatsoever in cigarettes and alcohol, and weed.

    How often do you hear of someone who got into a wreck because they were just smoking weed? Seldom. But there are terrible DUI accidents all the time.

    I see so many fights outside of bars, or even at friends homes and parties – due to too much alcohol. But when someone smokes weed, they just get mellow, and actually usually pretty lazy. It doesn’t turn them into trouble makers.

    When was the last time you heard of someone dying from marijuana? But I have heard a million stories of lung cancer or liver problems.

    I think people who get over worried about marijuana need to lighten up, to be honest. If you think cigarettes and alcohol are ok – which cause HUGE problems, then why not weed?
    Meagan Paullin recently posted..Potty Training Tips: Keeping It Going & Making it Fun

  14. I have no problems with legal drug use, as long as it’s not being abused. This goes for all prescription drugs. I do however, have a problem with people partaking in illegal and/or recreational drug use, especially while they’re responsible for children.
    Kallie Greenly recently posted..Travalo Elite Review and Giveaway

  15. I personally think it should be legalized completely, not just for medical purposes. I don’t smoke it myself because I don’t react well to it….just like any other “food” or “medicine” we put in our bodies…everyone has a different reaction. I think she should use it if it will help her.

    If I had to look at danger factors for making a drug illegal…it would be alcohol. How often do you hear of someone getting high on pot and beating their spouse to death? Or dead because of pot poisoning? Or permanent degenerative brain damage from pot brain (wet brain is a severe condition of chronic drinking). Or how about internal bleeding or liver failure (both a result of alcoholism or chronic pill use). I live in CO where medical marijuana is legal and I have many friends who benefit greatly from its use. They also don’t smoke it in excess…more like you should use a medication…as needed.

    Also, if anyone is interested…there have been studies done on medicinal marijuana use during pregnancy (not in the USA of course). The marijuana is either ingested through edibles or in vapor form. The children are monitored through the age of 5 or higher. Their cognitive and behavioral development are charted. Babies of mothers who used it medicinally (meaning not getting “high” and using a few times a week)…consistently sleep better, are less fussy, less issues with feeding. They also have no decrease in cognitive or behavioral development….and tend to have less issues with ADD or over hyperactivity. The reason I researched this is because I have a few friends who used it to varying degrees while pregnant and their children are all well-adjusted and intelligent kids. Now, I don’t think it would be good to get high everyday…although I don’t know for sure…would probably be bad. Just like taking tylenol everyday probably wouldn’t be healthy for the baby. Everything in moderation.

    As far as marijuana being a gateway drug…I don’t think this is true. More people have probably tried harder drugs when under the influence of alcohol because they either don’t have their normal inhibitions or they don’t realize what they’re doing. I also have a few friends who are recovering drug addicts and they say that marijuana didn’t lead them into using meth or heroin. They used because they had addictive personalities and they would’ve tried any drug handed to them….they pretty much did. I would also say that peer pressure is probably more of a gateway into hard drug use as well. Just my opinion though.
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  16. her note brought me to tears.

    I am against the use of marijuana for the most part. I am against the use of it just to get high as I have seen it destroy many people close in my life. But clearly it is helping this woman. I could not imagine not being able to hug my children. I think it is wrong when people abuse meds, whether it be pills, marijuana, whatever, but there are responsible people in this world that are in real pain and need real help. My heart goes out to her and her family.
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  17. Anonymous mom, thank you so much for sharing. I know that it takes a lot of bravery to admit considering that kind of treatment because of the taboo nature of it.
    Determined Momma recently posted..If you give a mom a cookie…

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