How Do I Tell Levi Daddy Is Leaving?

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Crap. I’m totally in over my head on this. How do I go about explaining the concept of separation or divorce to Levi?

I’ve been holding a lot of stuff inside lately because I’m really overwhelmed by it all, so I’m just going to spill it in no particular order.

Jason is moving out this week. I have a new roommate moving in on Saturday. I’m totally not ready for any of this, but it’s happening and I just need to adjust.

I’ve tried talking to Jason about what’s going on, but he’s pretty much shut down and hasn’t been willing to talk. We did agree (for now) on a schedule for having Levi. He’ll get him Wed-Sun every other week, and I’ll have him the rest of the time.

Holy fuck. I’m going to regularly, VOLUNTARILY spend 5 days away from my son every other week. I’m not ok with that, but what choice do I really have? Jason is a good dad and it wouldn’t be fair to him or to Levi for them not to spend a lot of time together, too. Levi’s only 2, so school’s not an issue yet, though next year he’ll be starting preschool and that’s just one more thing I’m not really ready for.

I’m stressed to the max and trying to keep my head above water. The toughest part is trying to be positive for Levi. I do NOT want him to feel the tension between Jason and I is in any way related to him.

I went through two divorces as a kid – the first when I was 5 or 6, the second when I was a freshman in high school. It doesn’t feel like that long ago I was wondering if my parents still loved me or if I was the reason they were fighting or splitting up. I know firsthand how hard divorce can be on a child.

So you’d think I would have thought more about what to tell Levi. Today I realized I’m clueless. Kelly (who watches Levi during the day) mentioned today that Levi kept saying “Daddy go buh bye” and “Daddy leaving” while he was at her house today. It could have been him talking about the fact that Jason left for work early this morning, but what if it wasn’t? What if he understands that Jason is moving his stuff out of the house and won’t be living with us anymore?

I’m lost. On some level, I knew we’d have to explain something to Levi, but Jason and I haven’t talked at all about what to say. What’s appropriate to share with a 2 year old? How much is he capable of understanding? It’s not like communication is great between Jason and I, so how do we make sure we keep conversations open and honest with Levi?

I told Jason we need to sit down and talk tonight after Levi goes to bed. I have no idea where to start, but hopefully we’ll be able to fumble our way through it.

Advice from folks who have been through this would be very much appreciated right now.

Edit to clarify: Jason isn’t “leaving” us as in walking out on us or anything like that. If divorce was anyone’s idea, it was mine. We both agreed at our last counseling session that divorce was the best route to take. I’ve since brought up doing a separation and additional counseling, but Jason hasn’t really responded, so I don’t know if he’s interested in that or not. Just wanted to throw that out there so folks don’t think I’m the victim or anything here.

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Comments

  1. I wouldn’t begin to know what to say either. Here’s hoping you two are able to work something out for how to approach the munchkin with that topic. I also hope you two figure out stuff for eachother along the way. I don’t know what all is going on, no is it my business, but I hope things work out for you.
    christine k recently posted..BentoBoxes — Keep It Separated!

  2. Ugh. This is tough. Good luck. I wish you well.

  3. My daughter was 4 months old when her dad moved out. It was his choice, not mine. Obviously, I didn’t have to explain to her then. Around 18 months is when she started going to stay with him at his house (before that, I was either nursing or unwilling to let her go away – that’s an entirely different issue).

    I think the key here is to let Levi know that daddy loves him very much – as does mommy. From what I have experienced, that’s the biggest fear – that if daddy has left the house, then he’s not coming back. Sounds like that won’t be the case at all.

    At two years old, I think you can tell him that Daddy is going to go live at such-and-such. And then, I think you just take it a day at a time. I don’t think he’s old enough to either handle nor receive a long explanation. Eventually, he will be and he WILL ask (my now-7-year-old asks all the time these days). But, there’s no need to go into a long explanation that may confuse him now. If he asks, “where’s daddy,” tell him. If he asks why he is staying with daddy this weekend, tell him, “Because daddy loves you and wants to see you! Mommy will see you very soon.”

    Can you make sure that both of you are able to call and talk to him at any time? That always helped my daughter – even at that young of an age when she couldn’t truly hold a full conversation on the phone. Just hearing my voice or her dad’s voice was a help.

    My 2 cents. Along with that, I send you big hugs. This is really, really difficult stuff no matter who makes the choice or who moves out. I’m so sorry that you’re in the situation as I remember the pain too clearly. <3

  4. First off, I’m really sorry to hear. I know that everyone’s experience is different..but my parents divorced when I was 5 and I didn’t understand anything other than the fact that there was moms house and dads house and although sad for about an hour after they told me, I got over it pretty fast. I actually enjoyed having the different days with them and multiple holidays and such. For me, my parents splitting was for the better (not that I’m saying it is for you). And even though my father remarried and since some problems with that whole situation surfaced so we have no relationship, I can say I’m fortunate with their divorce because I would have been a completely different person and im sure it wouldn’t be a happy one. The best advice I can give is to act calm and put it as simply as possible to your child and sit down all together and make it seem all okay (even though its not and you hurt) I think your son will be okay, but I still am sad to hear what you’re going through :( hope I help and wish you the best

  5. I went through this when my kids were 4months 4 and 7. This was over almost 10 years ago. The only advice I can give is to make sure you and Jason are on the same page when it comes to Levi. My ex and I were not. I made sure no one spoke badly about him in front of the kids and he didn’t, I would stay calm when we would talk and he yelled. All this behavior finally turned my kids against their father and now they hardly have anything to do with him. Just give Levi Lots of love and extra attention and try to answer questions he might have.((((Hugs))))

  6. Although I have never been through this personally, my husband’s parents divorced when he was 14, and it seems like I had friends with their parents getting divorced right and left growing up. It’s hard. I hope I never have to go through it with my children. I think the best thing you can do is to sit down with your son and tell him that Mommy and Daddy love him both very much, but they are different people now and can’t live together anymore. So we’re still your mommy and daddy, we just won’t live in the same house anymore. Tell him something like He’s so precious and perfect to you both and he didn’t do anything to cause it, some people just change and there’s nothing wrong with that, but life is full of changes and you have to be strong. He probably won’t understand most of what’s going on, but children comprehend more than we know. My mother-in-law said that the most important thing she told her children during the divorce process was that it was between mom and dad and they didn’t do anything and no matter what happened, they both still loved them very much. She told them over and over. I’m so sorry that this is happening to your family, you just have to be strong and honest. He’ll understand when he’s older, and he’ll appreciate your honesty. Good luck!! I hope this helps, even if it’s just a little bit.
    Kate Moore recently posted..I’m Not a Perfect Mom

  7. I have no experience on this issue whatsoever, but I totally feel for you. Sending all the positive vibes I have your way. It sounds like you both want what is best for Levi, what a lucky kid to have such amazing parents. He may not understand much now, but eventually he will, and he’ll probably be proud of you for keeping his best interests at heart.

  8. It’s not the same at all, but my son’s (who is older than Levi – he’s four) best friend is moving, and I’ve been recently struggling with how and when to tell him. I finally broke down today, and while he handled it rather well, I don’t think he gets it. I’m waiting for him to ask to go play with his friend and me saying he can’t for the real melt down to happen.

    I’ve only been through a divorce, and I was far too young to understand or remember anything, so for me, it was the norm to have my mom and dad not be married. My only advice is what I always try to do in times when I don’t know what else to do – go to the library and see if there’s a picture book on the subject. I know that probably sounds really weak, but I’ve found that books help open up a dialog between my older son and I.

  9. I left my daughters father when she was 3 – She never got over it! (she is 22 now) He was a great dad but a horrible husband. He tried to stay in her life but eventually moved 3000 miles away.. she visited twice but they did not go well (due to his choice in roommates) I seriously think it changed the course of her life.. made her feel less loved and forgotten – Tread carefully when it comes to seperation/divorce Children feel and sense things that we don’t even know we are feeling/thinking and they always think it is about them or because of them. I hope you two can work it out – life is too short and your family is to important to not fight for! God bless!

  10. Someone That's Been There says:

    I don’t think you need to explain the divorce to him, as he’s still too young. Maybe your counselor could help you with ideas on what to say to him. The most confusing part is going to be a new guy moving in right away.

  11. Hi, I know that we do not know each other but reading your post I felt compelled to help however I can. I couldn’t imagine how you feel right now. With that being said I am a child of divorced parents so I understand the kids side of things. I am also a professional that works with children and have a bachelors in Psychology and masters in Educational Psychology in Counseling. My thoughts are a little developmental information might help you here. Some of it is probably things you know or maybe you don’t but it was helpful for a friend in the past who had the same feelings you are having. You mentioned that Levi is only 2 years old. Most of us do not have memories earlier than 3 years so he will not forever REMEMBER what happened. The thing that will speak to him at this age is consistency and things that are easy to understand and predict in his schedule. Having a routine and sticking to it. Loving him every second of the way. Not competing for his attention. Kids are super resilient and he will get through it better than you will expect. Also, always assume that he knows more than you think because kids are so incredibly smart. Levi may have noticed that daddy is leaving. He may get it and so talking to him in words that he can understand will be helpful. Some things that will help him after the split are things like visual calendars where he can put a stick or something on a square that will let hime know when he gets to see the next parent. Time is endless at his age and it can be super hard to understand what “you will see mommy on Friday” means. Also make sure that you have pictures of the opposite parent at each house that are easy for him to access if he gets sad. Let him have his comfort item (blankie, etc.) for however long he needs it because it will give him a safe place and more consistency. A friend once told me she was incredibly surprised at how well her kids handled divorce. She felt that since there was no longer relationship tension that both parents were able to focus more on the kids and that they were better parents because of it. He will move through this and will be okay. I hope this helps some and please don’t hesistate to email me for any questions or just to vent out all your feelings. Everything with me is confidential. I wish you all the best.

  12. I meant to say a visual calendar with stickers not stick (sorry). Also you might want to think about making a simple story for him using pictures of him with you and him with daddy to explain to him the shifting that will take place. Pictures speak a lot to kids. Way more than words which tend to go in one ear and out the other.

  13. Not for nothing, but I feel like your being a complete bitch.
    I don’t know you or your family from Tom, Dick, or Harry,
    but maybe you should take your head out of your ass
    and make your marriage work.

    For fucks sake, you ask for a divorce & he buys you a Keuring?
    What a greedy little bitch.

    Thats probably your problem.

    Either that or you drink to me.

    The first thing one sees when opening your blog is a lady with a martini
    glass…. What the fuck is that? & this is your “parenting blog?”…. RIGHT!

    • Wow Charissa! What a hateful thing to say! You should be ashamed of yourself.

    • Charissa is just grumpy because she needs coffee. Someone get her a Keurig!

    • “I don’t know you or your family”. That pretty much sums it up there. Name calling and judging someone when you don’t know them or their situation is unnecessary and rude. I don’t know all the in’s and out’s either but I can tell you just from reading this blog that this was not a decision made lightly.

  14. Anony Mommy says:

    I don’t mean to pry where I don’t belong, but who is the roommate moving in with you? Is it someone Levi is familiar with, a stranger to him, a man that he may see with mommy in ways that he’s used to seeing daddy? I know that point is none of our business, and nothing that you need to share, I just wanted to let you know that I think you should also explain to Levi that you’re going to have a new friend come live with you, to help you out, be there for you etc. I don’t want him to be confused or to think daddy is being replaced or anything like that, which I know is not anyone’s intentions at all. I hope this is something you and Jason are able to work through…**hugs**

  15. I’m so so sorry that you’re having to deal with this. I don’t have much advice, but I have a bit of experience I guess. I was 2 when my parents divorced and apparently it was pretty nasty. If it’s any consolation, I don’t remember ANY of it, so there’s a good chance that Levi won’t either. You might have some uncomfortable questions in the meantime, but he’ll make it through okay. Sending big hugs your way!!
    Lindsay recently posted..Our Marriage Rule: Do NOT Fight About Money

  16. Hang in there -

  17. Chavonne H says:

    Well I would picture myself as a child and think about how would I want my parents to have told me this. And I would want them both to still show how much they care and love each other and that we are still a family even if we all don’t live together. If I was a kid I would want to be reassured that my dad will be there in my life and the only thing that will change is where daddy is living, nothing else changes. No matter the age of the child, just stress how much the child is loved and what good friends you both still are and will always be. I hope everything works out for the best. Thanks for opening up and sharing your thoughts and what’s going on in your life.

  18. maybe you can just tell him daddy is moving to a different house. he’s only two, so…”leaving” might be a scary word for him. maybe his daddy can get something special for him that stays at his house, that way when he goes to “daddy’s house” there’s a cool thing waiting for him. at the age he is now, he’s not going to understand divorce or separation or whatever…might as well make it fun. sorry you’re having a hard time, good luck to all three of you.

  19. First off, I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this. It’s tough, but being a child of divorced parents I know that things will probably be fine for Levi. He may or may not ask questions when he get older. But for now, just tell him daddy is getting a new house… It’ll be a new adventure for him.

    Secondly, did she say anything about the roommate being a dude? I don’t recall reading that. Not like its any of our business anyhow.

  20. I’m really sorry that things didn’t work out. I know how unbelievably challenging it can be and have felt very close to that path myself especially recently. I wish you all the best and I hope you find a good way to try to explain things to Levi and I know that you’ll both do your best and that he will be fine!
    Marta recently posted..Lessons.

  21. It is surprising just how much a 2 year old can understand and remember.

    When my son was 2 years old we moved out of our house into a new one.
    Even now, over a year later when we go back to that house he called it “my old house” or “my own house”.

    I didn’t think he’d understand the concept of moving or even remember that house.
    But he does.
    Brittney Wilson @ The Nerdy Nurse recently posted..An Incredibly Stupid Decision: We Got a Dog

  22. Children are far more resilient then we may think and our own concerns and hurts as we go through separation and divorce are usually unfounded. I got divorced when my daughter was two… she has no memories of us being together and I am forever grateful for this because her father was very abusive to me. What I know is this, how YOU handle things will matter and you have already shown you are moving in the right direction by so bravely posting this question to us and worrying about handling it “correctly” … how you and Jason treat each other in front of Levi and speak about each other around Levi is the most important thing. It would be best to tell Levi together that Daddy is going to have a different house he will live in and that both of you love Levi very much and that will never change. Don’t make it any more than that… he’s two. The rules: NEVER fight in front of him or talk about the other one negatively in front of him… a good friend told me, “My dad left my mom when she had just given birth to me and was still in the hospital so I never met him and grew up hearing all my life how awful he was. That made me feel like HALF of me was bad.” Please don’t ever let that happen to Levi. The biggest gift you can give him at this point is to continue to love him and keep your routine with him as normal as possible. Also, “let go” of the time you do not control… you said yoruself Jason is a good dad. He may not do things the same as you but that doesn’t make it wrong… just different. If you two can agree on certain routines being consistent between both homes (bed time, bath time, morning, tv rules, etc.) that is best… but I was not able to establish that and just explained to my daughter that her father had his rules and I had mine and kept it that simple. All the “experts” I have read say that how parents handle a separation/divorce determines how well the kids do. So… staying positive in front of him (even if that means crying in your pillow or holding the anger in until later) is really important. Kids should never be made to feel like it’s not okay to love both their mom and dad. I did not want my daughter to get time with her dad when she was so little but the court ordered it anyway. In order to not cry for a week straight, I decided to use that as “me time” and not feel guilty about it… maybe that’s when you have girlfriends over to drink wine and complain about men, or read that book you can’t seem to get to with a two year old around… just use it positively and don’t spend it thinking “Levi’s not here” and drop down that hole! If this is what is best for you and Jason, then it’s what is best for Levi. The bottom line… you both love Levi and will both always be his parents… that’s not ever changing. I wish you well as you navigate this new path.

  23. My two cents are to just make sure that Levi knows he is loved by both of you. Lynnea’s father and I split when she was around 4. She knew it was happening, but I still made sure she was loved, and that I didn’t say mean things about her dad. She’s 8 now, and she is a really happy kid… you know this. I don’t think a huge explanation will sink in with Levi.
    I’m sending love and hugs to your family, whatever form it takes.
    Lindsey recently posted..Y’all hear that? It’s Dollywood calling! #Brandcation

  24. Karen Hand says:

    I agree with a previous poster that because of Levi’s young age, a long detailed explanation would be more confusing to him. I suggest you tell him that daddy is going to live at such and such a place, and that he will be able to visit his daddy at such and such a time. Plus, if such an arrangement has been made between you and your husband, tell Levi that he can talk with daddy any time he wants and that you would be more than happy to telephone for him. With easy accessibility to your husband, Levi won’t think anything out of the norm, as he doesn’t see daddy when his daddy goes to work anyway. Know it is hard on you, but just take it one day at a time and think positive thoughts.

  25. I think the best, and simplest way would be to get children’s books that deal with divorce. While he is still TOO young to comprehend what exactly is going on -he’ll pick up on his dad not being around all of the time and you’ll have to think of something to “tide him over” until he can understand. Divorce to Levi shouldn’t be all “storytime fun” because it’s a serious issue, but I think that’s what might suit. I am glad that you (so far) haven’t mangled custody and completely shut off his dad from his life like some wretched single mothers I know.

  26. I haven’t been through this so I don’t speak from experience, but my gut instinct tells me to try and not make a bigger deal of it to Levi than it needs to be. He’s still so young, he may not necessarily know that this is something strange you know?!
    You could just take him to Jason’s new place and explain to him that it’s *Daddy’s new house* and he’ll get to spend time there – special time – with just him and Daddy. Won’t that be fun!
    And when he’s home with you you’ll get special mommy/Levi time :) Kids are resiliant…obviously be a little more sympathetic to his moods and emotions – he’ll feel a shift without his dad around all the time. But all in all, I imagine he’ll be great :)

    Also, a completely unrelated note. Not sure if your new roommate is male or female {did you mention that?} but, particularly if it’s a male, make sure you watch Levi like a hawk. I say this only because I can’t imagine you’d be too favorable of some random female roommate of Jason’s having a lot of interaction with Levi without your being able to monitor the situation. I actually think the new roommate might be the trickiest part to navigate of this whole scenario.

    Good luck….you’ll know what to do/say. :)

  27. No advice for you but my heart goes out to you guys! Hugs!!!
    Saph@FrugalWifeBlog recently posted..All Things Owls

  28. My parents divorced when I was 8. It was for the best and I don’t believe I was emotionally damaged in any way from it. My mom was very honest about everything and why it didn’t work. Although by the end she had grown to really dislike my father and despite being truthful about some of the terrible things that happened she was remained very focused on ensuring that my relationship with my father was separate from her relationship with him and encouraged me to get to know him so that I could form my own opinions. My mother moved on to find the love of her life and I was then raised in a “happy and loving” family without the burden of tension and resentment.

    My husband’s parents never divorced, though they very well should have. My MIL got knocked up at a relatively young age, they did what was expected of them and got hitched and then they lived miserably ever after. The relationship was never abusive or violent or anything like that…. It was/is just a co-existence. They’re glorified room mates. Perhaps even friends…. Maybe??? But they’re certainly not lovers. And it really f*ck*d my husband up. I’ve seen them go days at a time without speaking to one another despite being in the same room the majority of the time. They never show signs of affection and from the sounds of it they never really did. And they’re just… miserable. It would be one thing if they were happy living this way, but they simple aren’t. They stuck it through the hard times “for the kids” and now they’re old and stuck with each other cause they’re too damn scared to be alone. They lost their chance for true love, for true happiness, and it’s utterly sad. What terrible role models! The last thing I would ever ever ever want for my kids would be for them to feel as though they were trapped in a loveless relationship FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES! And my poor husband had to grow up with that as the norm. He grew up thinking that it was not only okay to live in a love-less marriage, but that it was expected if kids were involved. SICKENING! After some long years of hard work and effort I have managed to beat that attitude out of him and he’s now come to realize what a healthy relationship should and can look like, but there’s still a lot of psychological damage left from growing up in a ‘fake’ family.

    Anyways, my point is…. If it’s not working despite trying (and since you’ve done counselling I assume you did try) moving on is probably the best decision AND your son will be better off because of it. Just be truthful. At 2, comprehension is an issue but he will be able to read your energy as everything is changing. If you’re tense, angry, sad, stressed, etc during this transition than he will read it as a bad event whereas if you are calm and assertive in the face of this new life than he will be more inclined to face it with the same attitude. Perhaps individual counselling could help you with that? The key to good parenting is putting yourself first – Just like when flying, during an emergency parents should always put on their oxygen mask first prior to putting on on their child’s – Parenting on ground is no different. Focusing on YOUR emotional recovery and finding peace with everything that’s happening is the very first step in helping your little guy understand and maneuver through this transitional time in his life.

    Best of luck to ya :)

  29. Stay positive about each other as a parent, try to stay as united as possible , and take lots of deep breaths. If he likes books, the When Dinosaurs… series has been very helpful in my household; it’s by the man who writes Arthur. Best wishes.
    Samantha at ShesNotBroken recently posted..Another one about PPD

  30. Wow. I’m so sorry to hear this, Jen. My first wife left me, but we didn’t have children (we were only married for about 2 1/2 years), so I really don’t have any words of wisdom for you. It’ll be rough for a while, but you both will get through this.

    Thinking about you and Levi.

    –Johann
    Johann recently posted..How 30 middle schoolers made me cry

  31. I do not really know what to say … but I agree with you that whatever you say, you have to do it together. Good luck!
    Barbara P. recently posted..Quick & light saltimbocca

  32. I have never been through this but I wish you luck! Just do the best you can.

  33. I can’t add much to the comments already mentioned. Sorry your son has to go through this. :(

  34. I haven’t gone through this personally, but I can tell you that my brother just did. He has 2 kids. They were 2 and 4. He said that the talk they had, together (as this is as amicable as I’ve ever seen a divorce go), was that Mommy wanted to get a new home (she’s the one who left) and now they were going to have two rooms and two houses to live in. He said they tried their best to put as positive a spin on it as possible. Because they are so young, they are going to grow up with this as their reality, as opposed to it being a huge emotional thing. During the transition my brother said he spent a lot of time hugging and exchanging “I love yous” with his kids, being mindful not to overdo, but ensuring that they didn’t feel like they were any less loved than before. His number one rule, is no fighting in front of the kids, that way they don’t see it as anything that is wrong, necessarily. It’s most important, according to them, that they see Mommy and Daddy as friends. I don’t know if this helps, but it’s the only advice I could think to give. You’re going to be just fine, and so is Levi. Chin up :)

  35. I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. I have not gone through this so don’t have personal advice but wanted to recommend the book Just Tell Me What to Say by Betsy Brown Braun. I did receive it to review years ago but it’s AWESOME for help with talking to your kids on a lot of different hard topics such as divorce, death, illness, sex even stuff like when they misbehave, are a picky eater, talk back, swear etc.

    For your situation, it mentions not saying anything until:
    – you are sure
    – you tell the child together
    – the time is right (it explains when is right)

    to explain separation:
    “Mommy and Daddy are not going to live together in the same house for a while.”

    to explain divorce:
    “I am still your mommy and daddy is still your daddy. I will always be your mommy who loves you, and daddy will always be your daddy who loves you always and forever. Our family is going to be different. we have a plan. we will both take care of you. it is not your fault.”

    It goes on with other possible explanations for slightly older kids (the book is designed for ages 2-6) and other things to consider, plan for and talk about. GREAT book. I hope it helps.
    Kathleen recently posted..Turkey Cooking Safety for Thanksgiving

  36. Hi Jen

    I am so sorry to hear this. I have been a single mom for 12 years – my kids were 3 and 5 when I divorced so I understand what you are going through. Please let me know if I can help you in any way.

    My best
    Nicole
    Nicole Harrison recently posted..Content Marketing in a Mobile World

  37. wow!! that takes strength to even share but all in all you can only do what you feel is right and at 2 yrs old i think you have nothing to worry about! he will adjust faster than you may yourself, he may notice “yea i wonder where dad is” but nothing past that, you just always answer as to when he will see him nxt, but i was 3 when my parents split and i have NO recolection at all of it at ALL..

  38. ALSO REMEMBER YOU ONCE HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT HIM IN UR BLOG———>
    “My husband Jason is pretty darn awesome, too. We’ve been married for 4 years, and I can honestly say that I love him even more now than I did when we first met. He’s a wonderful father and a great partner. His dream job is to be a stay-at-home-dad, which says a lot about how much he loves our son.”

  39. Karen Hand says:

    I didn’t address the issue of the roommate in my previous submission; however, one of your followers has. She has brought up a very good point about the sex of the roommate and if it is a male, the possibility that Levi might look upon this man as a replacement of his father. The other follower brought up some very good points for you to take heed and weigh as you see fit. As another follower mentioned, Levi is young and probably won’t remember any of the current events as he grows up. The best of luck to you.

  40. I am SO sorry you have to go through this. I went through this when my son was 2; he’s now 13. If you need someone to bounce ideas off or just need someone to listen, please feel free to contact me. You can find me at http://www.atticgirl.com and on twitter @atticgirl76.
    shelly recently posted..Wreck-It Ralph Hits Theaters Nov 2nd

  41. Divorce sucks!! And it’s even worse for the kids. I’m sorry you are going through this, but things will get better, just take it one day at a time, and be there for your son when he needs you (i have no doubt you will!!) I know it is soooo hard when you have forced separations from your child =(

  42. So sorry to hear, this was the first I’ve heard. Hang in there.

  43. Many men don’t like to fight with women they love. Women work through their difficulties through words and are very comfortable with verbal confrontations. Men grew up (largely) working through things in a physical manner. As adults, we often shy away from conversations that we feel to be confrontational – we see this as de-escalating the situation. Women (as I understand it) view this silence and avoidance as an unwillingness to work through the problem. In these cases, the real problem is now subordinated to the difference between how men and women tend to work through issues.

    Normally, therapy should help work past this divide. If that isn’t your experience thus far, I urge you to look for a different therapist who is able to help the two of you get to the point where you are able to discuss the real issues.

    If you want more details on my and our experiences with therapy, shoot me an email. Otherwise, hang in there.

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